1. The first few weeks on campus can be a lonely period. There may
be concerns about forming friendships. When new students look
around, it may seem that everyone else is self-confident and
socially successful. The reality is that everyone is having the
same concerns.
2. If they allow sufficient time, students usually find peers in the
university to provide structure and a valuable support system in
the new environment. The important thing for the student to
remember in meeting new people is to be oneself.
3. Meaningful, new relationships should not be expected to develop
overnight. It took a great deal of time to develop intimacy in
high school friendships; the same will be true of intimacy in
university friendships.
4. Increased personal freedom can feel both wonderful and
frightening. Students can come and go as they choose with no one
to "hassle" them. At the same time, things are no longer
predictable. The strange environment with new kinds of procedures
and new people can create the sense of being on an emotional
roller-coaster. This is normal and to be expected.
5. Living with roommates can present special, sometimes intense,
problems. Negotiating respect of personal property, personal
space, sleep, and relaxation needs can be a complex task. The
complexity increases when roommates are of different
ethnic/cultural backgrounds with very different values.
Communicating one's legitimate needs calmly, listening with
respect to a roommate's concerns, and being willing to compromise
to meet each other's most important needs can promote resolution
of issues.
6. It is unrealistic to expect that roommates will be best friends.
Roommates may work out mutually satisfying living arrangements,
but the reality is that each may tend to have his or her own
circle of friends.
7. College classes are a great deal more difficult than high
school classes. There are more reading assignments, and the exams
and papers cover a greater amount of material. Instructors expect
students to do more work outside the classroom. In order to
survive, the student must take responsibility for his or her
actions. This means the student needs to follow the course
outlines and keep us with the readings. The student must do the
initiating. If a class is missed, it is up to the student to
borrow lecture notes from someone who was present. If the student
is having difficulty with course work, he or she needs to ask for
help--ask to do extra work, request an appointment with an
academic advisor, or sign up for tutoring.